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Funny Love Letter to Edward Cullen

A funny love letter addressed to the Vampire Edward Cullen a major character of the Twilight Series. Edward is in love with Bella, a mortal teenage girl but this "creepy-stalker-chick" of a fan is so motivated she even requests a BITE from the Vampire before asking for his hand in marriage!

This love letter proves Love is really blind!

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I am in love with you. I know everything about you and I want you to be mine and yes I stalk you. I figured I should let you know because under the creepy-stalker-chick, I am a loving and intelligent being and I want you to see that. When I stalk you, I usually am reading about you, or watching an actor portray you on the TV, sometimes I even creep around outside your lovely home. To prove I am well informed enough about you I will go over many of your character traits that I admire. For example, your beautiful, color changing, golden eyes, I literally feel gooey inside when I stare into them. For an old guy you are incredibly fit, my track team would love to have you. Your strength and speed makes me want to jump and dance for joy. Edward you can be totally fun and totally serious at the same time! I could totally eat you up! Which brings me to my next point. Edward, I need something from you. My insides long for your mouth to...to...BITE ME! Yes Edward darling, I want you to bite me like you've never bitten anyone before. Forget Bella! It's me you really need...forever. I would also like to ask for your hand in marriage if that is okay. I know it is a lot to take in, but I would love your consideration. Please write back to this letter. I never got a response from my past fifty-two letters.

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Funny Love Letter to Edward Cullen